There are a lot of reasons why some people bully.

They may see it as a way of being popular, or making themselves look tough and in charge.

Some people bully to get attention or things, or to make other people afraid of them. Others might be jealous of the person they are bullying. They may be being bullied themselves.

Some bullies are being bullied themselves, often by an older person, most often in their family.

Some bullies may not even understand how wrong their behavior is and how it makes the person being bullied feel.

Why are some young people bullied?

Some young people are bullied for no particular reason, but sometimes it’s because they are different in some way - perhaps it’s the color of their skin, the way they talk, their size or their name.

Sometimes young people are bullied because they look like they can’t stand up for themselves.

STEPS TO TAKE TO AVOID BEING BULLIED

1. Try not to give the bully an easy victim. Be someone the bully does not want to pick on. Work on building good self-esteem. If you feel confident inside yourself you won’t look like a victim and it will be easier for you to stand up for your rights.

Work on building good self-esteem by:
· identifying what you are good at
· be involved in activities that you enjoy build, branch out or expand your hobbies and talents

Presenting yourself with confidence:
· make eye contact when speaking with someone
· use good posture (stand straight, shoulders back, be aware of personal space—3 -6 feel)
· pay attention to what you wear—is it right for the situation?

2. Develop ties with friends and family. This will help you to feel less isolated. It will also provide you with support and someone to talk to.

Here are some ideas of where you might be able to get support.

Your friends—You may find that you aren’t the only one being bullied. Hang around with your friends, the bully might get bored waiting to catch you alone. Stick up for others who are being bullied.

Your parents—Hopefully you can talk to your parents and you can discuss your problems easily. They care about you and may have some ideas to help or may support you by talking to someone at school or where the problem is.

Your teacher—Most teachers know how to handle bully situations and will be able to help you. If your teacher doesn’t help then go and see your principal.

Your coach or group leader—If the problem is during a group activity then it is up to the adult to support you. If there is a bully at work in your team then the team will not be doing their best.

The police or a community leader—If you have no one that you feel comfortable talking to then go to your police station. Police do not like bullies and will be able to give you some information that might help you.
If you are still uneasy about the situation you must revisit someone that gave you support. DO NOT GIVE UP. Keep telling until someone listens.

Why is bullying harmful?

Some people think bullying is just part of growing up and a way for young people to learn to stick up for themselves. But bullying can make young people feel lonely, unhappy and frightened. It makes them feel unsafe and think there must be something wrong with them. They lose confidence and may not want to go to school any more. It may make them sick.

What can you do if you are being bullied?

Coping with bullying can be difficult, but remember, you are not the problem, the bully is. You have a right to feel safe and se­cure.

And if you’re different in some way, be proud of it! Kia Kaha -stand strong. Spend time with your friends - bullies hardly ever pick on people if they’re with others in a group.

You’ve probably already tried ignoring the bully, telling them to stop and walking away whenever the bullying starts.
If someone is bullying you, you should always tell an adult you can trust. This isn’t telling tales. You have a right to be safe and adults can do things to get the bullying stopped.

Even if you think you’ve solved the problem on your own, tell an adult anyway, in case it happens again.
An adult you can trust might be a teacher, school principal, parent, someone from your family, or a friend’s parent. If you find it difficult to talk about being bullied, you might find it easier to write down what’s been happening to you and give it to an adult you trust.

Are you a bully?
Have you ever bullied someone else? Think about why you did it and how you were feeling at the time. If you are sometimes a bully, try to find other ways to make yourself feel good.

Most bullies aren’t liked, even if it starts out that way. Remember, it’s best to treat others the way you would like to be treated.



(c) 2003-2007 published by S.A.F.E.. Network, Inc. as part of our Personal Protection Empowerment Program and Curriculum. For more information call 800-643-3310, staff@safenetwork.org
http:// www.safenetwork.org