There are 3 steps that can help you determine the risk factors in your child or teen's life:

Step 1 - Recognizing the signs of abuse;

Step 2 - Knowing the Tricks & Lures that predators use;

Step 3 - Working with your kids to provide them the information they need to better protect themselves when they are away
               from the watchful eye of caring parents/caregivers.

Step 1 is recognizing the signs of abuse, or that something is not right with your infant, child or teen. Some things to look for include:

With all the mood changes that kids experience during a holiday, how can we tell the difference between holiday anxiety and when something like sexual abuse is happening to them?

The more pronounced emotional changes might include:
      Depression
      Fears and phobias
      Reluctance to be left alone with a particular person

What other Physical symptoms or signs could we see?
     Bleeding or discharge from rectum or vaginal area
     Sore or swollen genital areas
     Stained underpants
     Pain on urination
     Age inappropriate knowledge of sexual matters
     Self destructive behavior
     Bedwetting
     Significant change in school performance
     Sexually transmitted diseases

Are there any other indicators they might display through acting out?
      Excessive masturbation
      Acting more infantile
      Running away
      Attempts at suicide

What can parents do when they see these kinds of behaviors and physical symptoms?
      Talk to them lovingly.
      Talk without extreme pressure.
      Ask them what is bothering them.
      Let them know they are trusted.
      Let them know you trust them to tell the truth.
      Ask them what you can do to make them feel better.
      Watch the people who have contact and access to them very closely.
      Seek the help and advice of a professional if symptoms get severe or continue       over days or weeks.

These signs are not in and of themselves, conclusive evidence that your child was sexually abused. They must be looked at in conjunction with other behaviors and factors.

Step 2 Knowing the Tricks & Lures that predators use;

There are 13 tricks and lures that predators use to gain access to, and maintain control of children and teens. Educating your kids on these tricks and lures and how to avoid or get away from them can be critical to their safety and well being. Listed here are all 13 and what you can teach your kids to help keep them safe.

AFFECTION
A FRIEND is someone you know you can trust; someone who really cares about you and loves you. A PREDATOR pretends they care about you. If you get a really bad feeling about someone when they tell you that no one cares about you as much as they do, and that you should keep your relationship with them a secret from others.... Tell them “No, I don’t
believe you.” Then go tell an adult you trust right away. This person is not a friend. They are trying to manipulate you into doing what they want.

ASSISTANCE
FRIENDS sometimes ask kids to help with things like dishes,
taking out the trash, cleaning your room and things like that. When someone you don’t know asks for help, like helping them get something out of their truck, car or van, finding their missing child, money, a street, or anything like that...they really need an adult to help them. If they ask you for this kind of help, they probably are a PREDATOR and you should tell them “NO!” Then walk away quickly and go tell an adult you trust.

BRIBERY
A FRIEND might bribe you to do your homework, or help around the house. But PREDATORS might bribe you with money, clothes, trips, or
other really expensive gifts to try to get you to go with them when you know you shouldn’t or to get you to do something that you know is wrong. Trust your feelings. If it feels wrong, most likely it is. Tell them “No!” Then walk away quickly and go tell someone you trust.

AUTHORITY
PREDATORS will do almost anything to fondle and have sex with
children and teenagers. Sometimes they take jobs that let them get closer to kids, like being a coach, a youth leader, a teacher, even a
minister or priest. Its easy to recognize PREDATORS because they will try to get you alone, where there are no other kids or adults around. Then they may try to get you to trust them more than your family. They will try to get closer to kids, like being a coach, a youth leader, a teacher, even a minister or priest. It’s easy to recognize PREDATORS because they will try to get you alone, where there are no other kids or adults around. Then they may try to get you to trust them more than your family.

FALSE EMERGENCY
A Predator will try to convince you that there is a serious emergency and you must come with them right away. Have a CODE WORD set up with your parents. Make sure that no one else knows it. If someone comes to pick you up with or without your parent’s permission, and they don’t know the code word, you know that you shouldn’t go with them. Tell a school official and have your parents called
immediately.

FUN & GAMES
We all love to play games, with our parents, our brothers and sisters, even our friends. Games that make you feel good and make you laugh are played with FRIENDS. If someone wants to play games that allow them to touch you in your private parts, tie you up or put handcuffs on you or lock you in a closet or room they are a PREDATOR. Say “NO!” Then go tell an adult you trust.

EGO - FAME - JOBS
A PREDATOR uses your feelings to make you feel special even though they only want to hurt you. They offer you things like an opportunity to be in a commercial, a way to earn lots of money for doing very little, They say you will be famous. Then they will tell you to keep it a secret, even from your parents until “you have the signed contract” , or something similar. TRUST YOUR FEELINGS, SAY NO AND TELL AN ADULT YOU TRUST.

NAME RECOGNITION
PREDATORS use your name showing on your clothing, book bags, and hats to make you think they know you, and make you feel comfortable with them. Sometimes they will watch you without you knowing waiting to hear someone call you by name. If you don’t know someone, even if they call you by name, never go with them until you have talked with a parent or someone you trust. If they are a FRIEND, they will wait and understand.

THREATS & FEAR
A PREDATOR is a lot like a bully. They may threaten you or your family if you don’t do what they tell you to do. They count on you being afraid. The truth is they don’t want to get caught. Tell them “NO! Go Away”, then go tell an adult you trust what happened.

COMPANION / FRIEND
The PREDATOR will make every attempt through another youth to get you to go with them. After all, if other kids are there, what can be the harm. Tell them “NO! You don’t go anywhere without checking with your family first. Leave the situation and go tell an adult you trust what happened.

HEROES
PREDATORS sometimes will be, or pretend to be someone famous or other hero figures to get close to kids. Regardless of who they seem to be, they are a PREDATOR if they try to get you alone, or try to do something to you that makes you sad, frightened, or feel ashamed. If someone you look up to as a hero attempts this kind of behavior, just tell them “NO!”
Get away and go tell an adult that you trust.

MAGIC & RITUALS
There are TV shows about teenage witches, and great magicians. This is only TV. It is very important that if anyone ever approaches you about learning magic, magic tricks, witches, spells, or anything like that without your parents permission, or going any place that makes you feel uneasy, no matter how old or in control you feel you are. DON’T GO! These people are PREDATORS.
SAY NO, Get away, and go tell an adult you trust right away.

PORNOGRAPHY
Pornography is magazines, movies, videos, pictures and books that show children, teens and adults who are naked and often having sex. Sex is not a bad thing, but the way it is shown in these pictures, movies, videos and magazines is bad. The people who create these many kinds of pornography are PREDATORS. They use children and teens in this way to make money, and satisfy the physical desires of those who want to have sexual experiences with children. These predators don’t care what they do or say to convince you to do these things. Then they will try to convince you that it was your fault, that you are a bad person and that your family and everyone else will hate you if they find out. Getting you to keep the secret is how they control you and keep themselves safe.
Get away and tell your parents or an adult you trust right away!

Step 3 - Working with your kids to provide them the information they need to better protect themselves when they are away  from the watchful eye of caring
                parents/caregivers.

Open communication with your children and teens is one way in which you can ensure that predators don't get the upper hand. That means listening as much as talking. Sometimes we are so intent on filling them up with our knowledge and information that we forget that they may want to share their feeling, fears and how much they actually do know. By listening we can better be able to tell just what they really do know and what needs to be corrected or filled in.

They must know, even if you think they don't want to, that you are their best friend and first line of defense. That you will believe them, protect them and fight for them in any given situation.

Our Parenting Your Kids Away from Abuse: A Parent's Guide On Protecting Your Kids From Sexual Predators is an excellent resource as is our My Teen Scene Safe Dating Journal and our Baby Prints, Kid Prints & Teen Prints Safety ID Kits. For additional parent helps go to our shopping cart and check out all of the personal safety items we have to help you better protect your children and teens. Also take a look at our Teen Parent and New Parent programs.

If you know a school, youth group, church group or youth organization of any kind that is looking for a great on-going repetitive education program for teaching these vital life skills and many others, our K-12 Personal Protection Empowerment Programs is a wonderful way for them to provide this much needed education to youth of all ages.

For additional articles and websites check out our Library... its full of wonderful information to help you in parenting your kids through these perilous times.