Lately we have been getting questions about whether using a code word with your kids to better protect them from would-be abductors is a valid idea. There are a select few in our field who are saying that having a code word with your children is a waste of time. "They" say that children won't remember the word when faced with the stress of the moment, and when approached by a predator who gives them any word, that they'll figure it must be the right code word because, after all, the predator said it, so it must be right.      

     This concept could be plausible if several things did not take place prior to the incident. Let's role-play for a moment. 6 year old Tina's parents decide to have a code word with her, so they sit her down and together come up with a word that they feel she will be able to remember. About a month later, Tina is approached by a stranger who says that her mom is in the hospital and he has been sent to pick her up and take her there. Tina is startled by the fear that her mother is hurt, and takes the man's hand going with him. What made this have the disastrous ending that it appears it will have? After all Tina's parents knew that a code word would help create a shield between her and anyone wanting to take her. Does this prove that those advocating not to use code words are correct?

     Tina's parents took the first step in educating their daughter on personal safety. The problem for them and Tina was that they didn't go any further. Those who propose that code words are ineffective are partially correct. In order for an effective barrier to be established however, there has to be two additional steps acted on:

                Repetitive reminders of what the code word is, and
                Practice through role-play.

     Success Motivation Institute, based in Texas, has been around for many years, they proved through their training, along with many other highly regarded motivational speakers that consistent repetition is the primary key to success. Whether it is looking in the mirror each morning telling yourself that you are a dynamic speaker, or a 6 year old practicing how to avoid abduction by asking for the secret code word you have with your parents.

     In scenario number two, Johnny, a 3rd grader, had established a code word with his parents, after having that lesson in class at school. Several weeks after that lesson he was approached, just as Tina was, by a stranger on the school play ground. Johnny, remembered the code word, and asked the stranger what it was. When the stranger couldn't give the word to him, he ran to a coach who called the police. The stranger fled, and the boy was saved from a horrible situation.

     Johnny remembered the code word, because he was taught about it in class, repetitively, and because his parents practiced it with him, and play acted out situations that could come up to help him know how to respond if ever approached.

     A secret code word between parents and their children CAN BE EFFECTIVE and life saving, if practiced, and discussed on a repetitive basis, whether it be once a week or twice a month. The key to success is reminding the children of the code word, having them repeat the code word, and situation role-play to get them use to how to react and what to say if ever approached.

Susan Rogers
Director
Safety Awareness & Family Education Network, Inc.
a 501(c)(3) non-profit
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