When Where and Why
It IS OK To Talk To Strangers
by Susan Rogers, Director
Safety Awareness & Family Education Network

Ok, before you get the rope out and have me linched, hear me out.

There are a few different thoughts on this subject, but we have gathered our information from various police agencies, the FBI and other state agencies.

Yes, your children should avoid strangers. As we've seen in the numerous high profile stranger kidnappings lately, our children need on-going interactive education on how to recognize when they are a potential victim, and what to do in an uncomfortable or potentially dangerous situation.

Let me give you some scenarios that might make it easier for you to understand why it is vital that your children understand that there really are times when talking to strangers in not only an option, but could save their lives.

Scenario 1
     Jeannie is 7 years old, she is walking down the street when a car approaches behind her and slows to her speed of walking. She has been taught that this is a possibly bad situation for her. She looks around and sees that there is a couple working in their yard, and that there is no place else that is remotely close where she could be safe. She runs over to the couple, and keeping a few steps distance asks them if they would call the police for her, that the car in the street seems to be following her.

Scenario 1 Analysis
       Jeannie did everything right. Had she gone into their home, with them she would have put herself again, in a vulnerable position, but she stayed out in the open and asked for the kind of help she needed.

Scenario 2
     Justin is 5 years old walking through a shopping mall with his mother. Mom has just let go of his hand and told him to stay next to her, to look closer at a dress on the rack.  Justin amuses himself by looking around to see what he might find interesting. A counter only a few feet away grabs his attention and he is mesmerized by the glittering trinkets in the display case. Walking over to the case Justin doesn't realize his mother thinks he's still right with her, as she walks to the other side the the rack still engrossed in searching for the right size. When Justin looks up to find his mother, she is not in view, and he begins to panic. Moving quickly back to where he had last seen her, she is nowhere to be seen. Suddenly a voice startles Justin as a store clerk asks him..."Are you ok? Where is your mom?"

     Justin had always been told not to speak to strangers, and now he was frightened and confused. This man might be able to help him, but he can't talk to him because he's a stranger. In a trembling voice Justin says "I'm ok, my mom is over there, and begins to move quickly away from the one person that could have helped him find his mother.  Two hours later, a nearly histerical mother and son find each other.

Scenario 2 Analysis
     Had Justin been taught that store clerks are trained to help lost children find their parents, and would have called security to assist in finding her, he would have been saved the frightening experience of being lost, moving even further away from his mother and potentially putting himself in harms way when the wrong stranger could have spotted him.

Scenario 3
     Shaun is a strapping 135 pound 16 year old who runs track and is on the swim team. Agile and bright, Shaun also is a good student who stays away from drugs and alcohol. He believes that being a friend and a good citizen are paramount to becoming a successful adult. Shaun's parents have taught him that he should respect adults, and help whenever possible anyone in need.

     Shaun is coming out of the local mini-mart when a man who appears to be in his 50's, slightly bent over and holding onto a cane, next to the open side door of his van, says.. "Young man, could you help me a moment please? I can't seem to get this bag of groceries into my van, could you lift it in for me?"   
Without hesitation Shaun smiles, walks over and says.
"Sure, sir, I'd be glad to help."

As Shaun picks up the grocery bag and leans into the van to place it on the floor, the man strikes the back of his head with the cane, knocking him unconscious. Using great force pushes him onto the floor of van. The door is shut quickly; the man races into the driver's seat and is gone.

Scenario 3 Analysis
This little scene takes only about 1 minute, sometimes less. What Shaun should also have been taught about respecting adults, is that adults who are not predators, usually ask other adults to help. The store clerk would have been more than glad to assist in getting groceries out to the car.

If a teen ager really feels the need to help someone in a situation that appears to warrant it, they should keep their distance and say that they will be glad to find someone who can help them. If they feel there is anything strange they should immediately get away from the individual and tell someone they trust what has happened.

These are only a few scenarios that show why our children, all ages, should be taught on a consistent repetitive basis those personal safety techniques that can save them from being exploited, abused and abducted. Please check out the The Locker (for teen-agers) or the Bad Guys ToolBox (for kids ages 4-12) where these and many more of the lures that predators use are listed, and what and how you can teach your children the measures that they can use to avoid becoming a victim.